Have I got an amazing special for you!

You just know those words are going to be followed by a pitch, don’t you?

First, I’ll get the rant off my chest: telling me that you have $10,000 worth of ‘products’ for only $297 is selling, period. It’s not special, it’s not a gift. In fact, if these are electronic products with zero cost to reproduce, there’s no such thing as a ‘special’ price because even if I only give you a nickel, your profit margin on that sale was 100%.

Folks looking for yet another tricky advertising gimmick (you can tell them a mile off because all their prices end in ’7′) are delighted to imply that they’re giving you a gift, some amazing mega deluxe special extra deal, in order to make a sale.

Let’s stop corrupting what the words ‘gift’ and ‘special’ mean. Don’t you dare imply you’re doing someone a favor, and then ask them for money. Making a smaller profit isn’t a favor, it’s business.

Remember when you used to be able to ask someone out for coffee in order to get to know their business better? Smart folks realised that by unselfishly learning about others in order to send them qualified prospects, our networks grew and in the long run, it came back around to us.

Selfish folks figured this out, and started asking networking victims out to coffee to ‘learn about your business.’ And then, as soon as they’d trudged through the formalities, the hard sell started. Pitch pitch pitch.

Try asking someone out for coffee so you can learn about their business. Watch the panic in their eyes, the scramble for an excuse. Selfish sellers have done their best to suck the juice out of an unselfish but brilliant method of organically, humanly, growing your business.

Promise me that you, yes you, reading right there, will never resort to deception, no matter how subtle, in your marketing or your business. Promise me that if you offer a gift, it is truly a gift, with no thought of return. Promise me that your ‘special’ price is actually less than what you’ve actually sold for in the past, and explain why you’re reducing the price (otherwise, it just looks like you couldn’t sell it for a hundred so you’ll try fifty.) Promise me that you’ll stop ending prices in the number 7 because even if it works, it’s psychological trickery and it’s unethical and immoral.

Find someone who’s corrupting the gift culture which has been fundamental to civilization for thousands of years, and send them a link to this post. Let’s make sure everyone everywhere knows that we’re not gonna take it anymore. At the very least, the lazy clowns will have to find something else to corrupt.

Rise above the garbage and noise. You’re better than that. You know that, of course, but you’re afraid. I get it.

Sometimes being a hero is hard.

While studying real estate I stumbled across the difference between business ethics, and ethics in the real world. They’re not necessarily the same.

Many industries, like real estate, have created a code of ethics for their members; a firm set of rules by which they must abide. And, as long as the follow those rules, they are officially ethical.

Thing is, two 6-year-olds on the playground know the difference between right and wrong, between fair and cheating. If your industry has a code of ethics, its purpose is not to provide loopholes, to let you get away with sleazy behaviour because it’s not officially sanctioned by the code of ethics.

Don’t ever misbehave just because there’s not a rule saying it’s wrong. Ask your 6-year-old. Or mine. They’ll tell you what’s fair.

There’s all this talk about networking, online and in person, and building relationships. What does it mean? How can it benefit you and your business?

Networking should be a vital piece of your marketing puzzle. But the point of networking is not just to have lots of contacts and build your list. You want to build relationships with people so they can get to know and trust you. You also want to get to know and trust them so you can confidently refer them to people you know. Because one of the best ways to get word of mouth referrals is to start giving referrals yourself.

Building relationships means more than just connecting on Twitter or Facebook or emailing someone whose business card you received at a networking meeting. You need to take further steps. Pick up the phone and make a call. If they are in your local area arrange a time to meet and talk. Visit their website and other social networking sites to learn something about them before you approach them. Ask them about what they are interested in before you start telling them anything about yourself. Show a real interest in the other person.

As you start building relationships you will find there are key people who you are drawn to and are drawn to you. They may start referring people to you and vice versa. These key relationships are ones you want to strengthen and maintain.

Take a few minutes and make a list of the top four people in your network that you want to build stronger relationships with. Think about why these four are important contacts. Are they easy to work with or get along with? Do they send you referrals regularly? Are they good listeners with good ideas? Note that information down along with their name.

Now think about what you’ve given to that particular relationship. Do you spend time on their blog or connecting with them on a regular basis on Twitter? Do you send them referrals regularly? What do you do for them to help them achieve their goals?

Next think about the last time you had a meaningful exchange with that person. Schedule time each month to connect in a meaningful way with that person to continue growing your relationship.

As you take time to build these relationships by networking you will find that there is an increase in your satisfaction. You may also find a measurable increase in the number of referrals you give and receive.

Who are you going to contact today in order to continue building a relationship?

For much of my life, I was an introverted cynical loner. No, really. I spent as much time alone as possible. I took entire vacations alone. My favorite activity was reading, alone, in my room.

Fast forward 30 years.

Since the turn of the millennium, I’ve changed. I’m not sure when it started.

But I know why.

Some things only grow when you believe they will. Faith. Trust. Until you extend them, and see the good, you won’t have them. Live as if.

I’ve trusted some people, and they’ve given me back the love of people I know I had as a child.

Too many to name, but I’ll give it a shot. Folks like Tom, Jerry, Marcos, Anne, Bernadette, Jodi, Jule, Chris, Mary Louise, Megan, Paul, Bolaji, Conor, Greg, Bill, Ed, John, Bonnie, Rex, Brendan, Becky, Bernd, Rick, and, well, y’know, the three I forgot.

It was not easy for me to trust my thoughts and feelings to a group of strangers. I’ve tried, in the past, and it was too ugly, too often. Not this time.

I love these people. They aren’t acquaintances or associates. They’re my tribe.

They’re friends.