Recently a personal interaction reminded me of an anecdote I read some years ago about tea. (I love tea, but this may be my first business lesson about it.)

When tea first arrived in England it was expensive. Not, a little bit pricey expensive, but prohibitive, only for the rich expensive. But it caught on quickly, because, well, it's great.

One woman in the south took a full pound of her expensive cache and sent it to her sister in the north, telling her how marvelous it was. Her sister boiled it, dumped the black liquid off and served it like a vegetable. She wrote back about how terrible it was.

She'd prepared it like a vegetable, which she understood, instead of seeing it for what it was: something entirely new.

Some business folks hear about the 'new marketing' and assume it's just more of the old marketing, except online. They still want instant results, measured in dollars return on dollars invested. They want ways to convince people to buy, no matter what they're selling. They spend time and money bolting a website and blog and email autoresponders onto their old-school advertising.

They're dumping the tea and eating the leaves, and then they wonder why it doesn't work.

If you help your clients with their marketing efforts, you may, like the first woman in the story, assume that they'll know how to brew a pot of social media marketing. Erm, tea. Whatever.

But, like the second woman, they don't. They can't. Because it's so foreign to them, they have nothing to connect it to. Give information away, with no firm plan for monetising it? That don't make no sense!

Had the first woman included some simple instructions along with her glowing praise, the story may have had a happier ending. Don't leave anything to chance. Clients who are new to the new marketing will need a lot of hand-holding, a lot of encouragement and explanation and nudging.

Don't assume they get it, unless you actually see them drinking the tea.

Our monthly group coaching calls have been great! Here are the topics we've covered so far:

• Marketing Your Services
• Defining Your Ideal Client
• Networking Creates Word of Mouth Referrals

The next call will be on June 1, 2010 and the topic is Converting Prospects to Clients.

Today I'm announcing a special promotion. Anyone who provides a meaningful comment on any one of our blog posts here at Chief Virtual Officer between now and May 30, 2010 will be entered into a random drawing to win the next coaching call on June 1, 2010 free!

Learn more here about the call on June 1 on Converting Prospects to Clients.

You want to go to networking events, get to know other business owners, and have an opportunity to share what you do. Perhaps you feel shy, unsure what to say or what questions to ask to get a conversation started.

Find a friend and role play. Take turns introducing yourselves to each other and asking questions. Critique each other's elevator pitch, hone and refine. Once you feel comfortable, you're set to attend your first networking event.

Take your friend with you for support. But make sure you each go separate ways and introduce yourself to new people. Then on your drive home you can discuss what worked, what didn't, and what you'll do next time.

To learn more about how networking and role playing, join us on the call Networking Creates Word of Mouth Referrals on May 18, 2010. Learn more and register at Event Brite.

There's all this talk about networking, online and in person, and building relationships. What does it mean? How can it benefit you and your business?

Networking should be a vital piece of your marketing puzzle. But the point of networking is not just to have lots of contacts and build your list. You want to build relationships with people so they can get to know and trust you. You also want to get to know and trust them so you can confidently refer them to people you know. Because one of the best ways to get word of mouth referrals is to start giving referrals yourself.

Building relationships means more than just connecting on Twitter or Facebook or emailing someone whose business card you received at a networking meeting. You need to take further steps. Pick up the phone and make a call. If they are in your local area arrange a time to meet and talk. Visit their website and other social networking sites to learn something about them before you approach them. Ask them about what they are interested in before you start telling them anything about yourself. Show a real interest in the other person.

As you start building relationships you will find there are key people who you are drawn to and are drawn to you. They may start referring people to you and vice versa. These key relationships are ones you want to strengthen and maintain.

Take a few minutes and make a list of the top four people in your network that you want to build stronger relationships with. Think about why these four are important contacts. Are they easy to work with or get along with? Do they send you referrals regularly? Are they good listeners with good ideas? Note that information down along with their name.

Now think about what you've given to that particular relationship. Do you spend time on their blog or connecting with them on a regular basis on Twitter? Do you send them referrals regularly? What do you do for them to help them achieve their goals?

Next think about the last time you had a meaningful exchange with that person. Schedule time each month to connect in a meaningful way with that person to continue growing your relationship.

As you take time to build these relationships by networking you will find that there is an increase in your satisfaction. You may also find a measurable increase in the number of referrals you give and receive.

Who are you going to contact today in order to continue building a relationship?

The #1 challenge new virtual assistants have is getting that first client. You know that if you could get just one client and wow them with your work that they will in turn recommend you to their friends. But how do you get that first client?

There are a variety of things you could do. Today I'm going to give you three different steps you can take to find that first client.

Step #1: Subcontract for an established virtual assistant. Find an established virtual assistant and build a relationship. Some virtual assistants need additional help from time to time and if you've established a relationship, they may call on when they need extra help. Be aware, though, that the rate as a subcontractor may be significantly less than the rate you would charge a client directly. This is to be expected since as a subcontractor you did not go out and find the client and are not directly managing the project.

Subcontracting is a good way to gain experience and make a little income. I strongly suggest you have some sort of written agreement or contract clearly defining expectations and rate of pay. I know virtual assistants who only do subcontract work and don't want the additional responsibilities that come with managing the client directly.

Step #2: Trade or barter services. Especially in difficult economic times, many solo professionals are willing to trade or barter services. I've know life coaches, business coaches, massage therapists, chiropractors and other service providers that were willing to provide their services in exchange for a virtual assistant's time.

If you could use one of these services, find out if they would be willing to barter. Again, this is a great way to get experience and may result in good word of mouth referrals. If the client is happy with your work, this is a great opportunity to ask for a testimonial to use in your marketing materials.

Step #3: Offer an hour or two at no charge. I know you're wondering right now if I really just told you to give away some of your time without getting paid. Is that what I meant? Yes! However, I did not say you wouldn't get anything in return. Let me explain.

You are brand new, just set up in business and have no clients, no testimonials, no proof you are good at what you do. So why would anyone want to hire you or retain your services for five or ten hours each month? But if you could get even one client, a glowing testimonial and begin your portfolio, then there's a reason for someone to consider using your services. So how do you get that first client? Offer an hour or two for free.

Of course you still want to have a contract detailing the work you will do in that one or two hours. Be sure that both you and the client have the same clear expectations. Let the client know up front that you'd like them to provide a testimonial - if they are truly pleased with your work.

If you provide excellent service, you will find that the majority of clients who you gave an hour or two of time at no charge will want to continue using your services and will gladly pay your fee. I have never been disappointed with my return on investment when I've done this. I've found it's very rare that a client uses their free hour or two and then never comes back.

Since many small business owners are still reluctant to use a virtual assistant and aren't sure what we can do for them, offering a small amount of our time can break the ice. In my opinion, this is not much different than a business coach who offers a free report with the hope that you'll then pay for the more extensive eBook or even pay for his business coaching.

If you're reluctant to offer free services to someone you don't know, you may find a friend or family member that you can do some work for to gain some experience. Of course, this can have challenges of its own.

So what step will you take to get your first client?